I burned the bottom in the toaster, but it's okay I guess

A minus because there's only one, though it's perfect

Only second best to Death by snoo-snoo. And there's too schools about that too.

I never tan, yet it's there!

Will scare the crap out of you at night

His heart is not in it today.

Half full or half empty

More durable than hankies, but peels your skin off.