These are words to live by...

It's cold. Wft am I standing in the cold?

Welcome to my food chain, my delicious, hoppity friend. #food #tasteslikechicken

I'm just impressed it doesn't say "Smile ur on camera", really. #stupid #typo

..you don't know what that stands for, do you? #myheadhurts #typo #stupid

I don't think all natural means what I think it means.

You're not fooling anyone, Wallgreens, that's a vibrator. #callaspadeaspade

Do we, as a society, really need a QR code on our condiments? #enoughisenough

I don't even want to know what's growing on it. #remindsmeofmyexgirlfriend

If I could think of a way to add in cheese and single malt scotch, it *might* be better, but ignoring that, this is pretty awesome.

One day, it will probably crush my skull as an example to others. #robots #newoverlords